Button
by Chachiri NoDa
Summary: OT5 fics. Men with a baby.


Notes: In which Fuji defies the laws of nature, Atobe gets dissed by the young and innocent, Ryoma has a grand ole time, and Tezuka and Sanada attempt to overdose. Yes, an OT5 fic.

"Oh my God," Ryoma whispered, unable to take his eyes off the sight before him. "He procreated."

"Don't be foolish," Atobe said, unable to tear his own gaze away. "He's _male_ and we've only been gone for three hours. It defies the laws of nature."

"Fuji-sempai defies the laws of nature as a past time."

"He does not!"

"White Whale! Hello!"

Atobe didn't have a response to that, but surely the infant lying in the basinet in front of them had NOT been spawned from Fuji Syusuke. He was positive. . . or at least, reasonably sure.

The infant looked back up at them curiously as they continued to stand their looking confused. All three of them turned their heads toward the sound of the bathroom door opening.

"Oh! I see you've met Button!" Fuji said as he came into sight. "Isn't he precious?"

"Button?" Ryoma whimpered.

"You did NOT name this child 'Button,'" Atobe growled. "I refused to believe that."

"Of course not," Fuji said, positively beaming at them as he stuck a finger into the basinet, which the infant immediately started to suck on.

Ryoma sighed in relief.

"My sister did."

Fuji looked over at Atobe and Ryoma in innocent confusion as they fell to the floor. "Anyway, I'm glad you two are back. I need you to watch him while I run off to the store. He's out of formula."

Atobe and Ryoma stared at Fuji as he slid on his shoes.

"Ore-sama will go!" Atobe shouted. "You will not leave him with this creature you've conjured!"

"You don't know what to buy," Fuji said, already in his coat and half out the door. "Just play with him a bit. It'll only take twenty minutes or so."

It was half an hour later and Fuji had not returned. The baby sat peacefully in Ryoma's lap as he rubbed at the honey-colored hair behind its ear.

"This isn't so bad. It's kinda like Karupin, only not quite as fuzzy."

Atobe sneered down at the infant. "Ore-sama hates children and you likening it to that shedding ball of Hell is not helping him convince himself otherwise."

Ryoma stared down at the baby's face as it cooed up at him. He could help but smile. "You know, he looks a lot like Fuji-sempai's little brother."

Atobe decided to actually look at the infant face instead of in its general direction, and it did bear a startling resemblance to Fuji Yuuta. "That's not all the surprising. It probably belongs to Fuji's sister, so the two would share genes. It's not uncommon for children to look like an aunt or uncle."

"Well, with Fuji-sempai's designs on Yuuta, you never know. . . this baby could be the product of Fujicest."

Atobe raised an eyebrow, but didn't argue. He was distracted by the baby, who managed to catch his eyes. They were Syusuke's startling shade of blue and he couldn't help smiling at the infant himself.

Until Ryoma shifted the baby in his arms and a gut-wrenching sound was induced. Atobe merely stared in shock as Ryoma nearly dropped the child as he fell over in laughter.

_It did _NOT_ just get sick all over Ore-sama's shirt. It did _NOT

Yet, when Atobe looked down, his lavender shirt was covered in what was obviously baby formula. _Used_ baby formula.

Ryoma was still laughing, baby lying on the floor next to him and looking rather satisfied with himself, when Tezuka and Sanada entered through the front door. Atobe had locked himself in the bathroom.

"Sounds as if Ryoma-kun has gone insane," Sanada said offhandedly as he slipped his shoes off.

"Shopping with Keigo does that to a person," Tezuka responded.

The two of them entered the living room to find Ryoma, who was now reduced to weak sounding giggles, curled around the baby.

"Tell me Keigo did not buy a baby," Sanada said before reaching for the aspirin bottle sitting on the coffee table.

"That's illegal, I'm sure," Tezuka said as he knelt down to get a closer look, holding out a hand to Sanada to receive salvation in pill form.

"As if the law would stop Atobe Keigo," Sanada said. "Four pills or five?"

"This looks like a five," Tezuka said, popping the pills dry when Sanada fished them out of the bottle.

Ryoma managed to drawn his giggly mess into a resemblance of himself and smirked up from the floor at Sanada. "Button hates Monkey King's fashion sense. Can we keep him?"

"As if another person expressing his displeasure at some of Keigo's clothing choices would make a difference-wait, did you just call him 'Button'?" Tezuka said, staring hard at the child as Ryoma passed him to him.

"Yes. Yes I did," Ryoma smirked.

"Another pill, Gen, please."


End file.
